Am I the only one who doesn’t place heavy things on the door to my stove? This has always seemed like one of those really bad ideas. I can say honestly that I don’t think I’ve ever set so much as a pan down on the door and I really can’t see why I would want to. The oven racks slide out and everything.
What’s next? Lawsuits because car doors don’t have hand sensing technology?
I was emailed a link to this article this morning about the “angry white man” voting block in our country. Pretty funny.
Snippets:
The Angry White Man is not a metrosexual, a homosexual or a victim. Nobody like him drowned in Hurricane Katrina — he got his people together and got the hell out, then went back in to rescue those too helpless and stupid to help themselves, often as a police officer, a National Guard soldier or a volunteer firefighter.
He also votes, and the Angry White Man loathes Hillary Clinton. Her voice reminds him of a shovel scraping a rock. He recoils at the mere sight of her on television. Her very image disgusts him, and he cannot fathom why anyone would want her as their leader. It’s not that she is a woman. It’s that she is who she is. It’s the liberal victim groups she panders to, the “poor me” attitude that she represents, her inability to give a straight answer to an honest question, his tax dollars that she wants to give to people who refuse to do anything for themselves.
Rumor has it that Sage is not feeling so great today. He quite probably is suffering from Fanconi Anemia Ranula Thrombasthenia Syndrome. Maybe he should go see the doctor and visit the pharmacy. Then again, maybe he just needs some rest and relaxation.
There is a mouse in my office somewhere. It did it’s biznaz on the bosses desk. All over his desk. A few times.
So the boss brought in a mouse trap and set it up. We found some of the food eaten each day for a couple of days but the trap never sprung. Today I tried to spring it myself with a pen and it required a TON of force. The mouse would have to do a 
all over the mouse trap with a tribal drum accompaniment to set it off. I probably had to apply 5 lbs of pressure to the trap to make it spring. That’s like the weight of a small rat.
I bent the catch back a little and gave it a proper hair trigger now. We’ll see if we have some proper results on Monday. Nothing like a rotting mouse corpse over the weekend to spice up work.
Currently, it is 5 degrees fahrenheit outside. With windchill, it’s -16., i.e. And this B.S. is our weather forecast for the next 10 days. Yep. -2 tonight and below freezing pretty much every day. I’m pretty sure that my nipples are going to freeze off before winter ends.
Buying that private island in Mexico is looking better and better by the day. And at only $136K, it’s a steal!
Yeah, that was great.
Remember kiddies, always close your html tags and put BOTH quotes around text that needs it.
You’re on your weekly beer run with the wife and baby cause everyone knows marriage and parenthood lead to alcoholism. Who or what do you use a seat belt on?
This guy chose to strap in his Busch and leave the baby to bounce around his back seat. Needless to say, he was arrested and taken off to jail.
The Patriots lost! While I normally don’t like cheering on either of the Mannings, the douchebaggery of Eli is less than that of Tom Brady. This guy thinks so too.
Everyone knows that men and women don’t always communicate well. So in light of this, here are some things that I thought the female readers of this blog should know, all two of them. Here are the rest.
1. Express yourself. It makes us proud, even if someone thinks you’re wrong.
2. You look hot in running shoes and shorts. And that top thingy with the stripes.
3. Bare, tan shoulders are underrated.
4. If you think I’m speeding now, you should see me drive when you’re not in the car.
5. If you’re truly interested in us, don’t play hard to get.
And, so the other guys reading this might be interested…
