Archive for May, 2007

Top 10 reasons why sex is financially rewarding

10. Good sex keeps you healthy. It is the best exercise in the world. Saving you money on medical cost and gym fees.

9. Good sex keeps you from spending money as easily. You want to keep your clothes off. Face it, it is much harder to spend money naked than fully clothed.

8. Good sex makes you want to spend TIME, not money on the one that you want.

7. Good sex makes you crave your partner and not starbucks. You will save a fortune on not splurging on little things that make you happy for a brief moment. The knowledge that your cravings will be filled for hours at home will stop you from spending on little expenses through out the day.

6. Good sex makes you eat less. You will save thousands a year on lower food comsumption bills.

5. Good sex makes you want to plan for your future. It is so much easier to plan for a great future when you know what one aspect of your life will be.

4. Good sex is a great way to cut down on entertainemnt expenses. Do you really need the dinner, movie, and the perfect outfit?

3. Good sex is a vacation everytime. Do you really need to spend thousands seeing Mickey Mouse in his little red button shorts? Or would you rather see your mate without any pants on at all?

2. Great sex saves you hundreds on utility bills. You create your own heat in the winter and ice cubes are now much more exciting in the summer.

Tie for the number ONE reason…depending on if you are career minded or family minded…..

1. Great sex puts you in a different frame of mind. Your co-workers wonder if you have successfully gained a new promotion or if you know something that they don’t know. It will drive them nuts, putting you in a position to out perform them. They will spend their time worrying, why you have the confidence to get the job done.

or

1. Just the thought of you having sex will make your children run and hide. They can’t ask you for money if they are hiding from you.

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Dinner delivery meets natural selection

Tigers and ducklings

Birds are dumb.

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A cold wind bloweth (finally)

I’ve been super busy around the casa del oso peresozo and due to the AC failing on the first day of warm weather I’ve been busier than I had anticipated. Fear not potential guests! I found the burst component that was to blame and restored cool refreshing arctic air to the house. It’s almost like I stole hundereds of dollars out of an HVAC technician’s earnings. Potential earnings.

Booyah indeed.

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Aww crap!

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some shit on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow shit, he began to
realize how warm he was. The shit was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow shit, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

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Next time sage comes over and uses my wireless…

he is going to jail!

Hehe. The TV station’s website is woodtv.com.

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True love

Is a man playing Battlefield 2 while his wife plays Twilight Princess. With mixed drinks!

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99 Words for Boobs

Can be heard here and read here. Enjoy this fantabulous new song.

I apologize for the lack of creativity in this post.. but I’m just too tired (or possibly too rumified) to think of anything funnier to type.

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Billy’s Dad

Career day is soon approaching for Billy. What does Billy’s dad do for a living? Find out here!

Oops, I mean here!

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Godwin’s Law Drinking Game

This comic on XKCD got me thinking up the rules to a new drinking game using a modified version of Godwin’s Law, which I creatively titled the Godwin’s Law Drinking Game. This game is based on the History Channels obsession with all things WWII.

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in ur reality

I totally wish this guy would come to my house. My kitties, while adorable, could definitely benefit from his service. Hell, he could do the corgi while he was at it, too. I wouldn’t mind!

*edit* Upon further discussion with the sloth, I find it necessary to explain how I, being a non-tech nerd, wound up on xkcd in the first place.

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