Regarding vort’s only remaining reason to have a wife, readers may want to contact the crew in the following videos if they find their wife isn’t up to snuff.
This is too long and two parts so I am going to link parts one and two instead of pasting them in the post. I don’t know what they are saying and I would suggest letting them load fully and then clicking through instead of watching the entire thing, but it is enjoyable.
Womenz beware! Now there’s only one reason left for a guy to get married…
(Editor’s Note: Attempting to make this an embedded video instead of a link)
I heard the story from the same person as vort so I can confirm that at least between that telling and his the story was not falsified. Could be totally made up before that though. Anyway, I don’t think you will get a million dollar company in exchange for a Game Boy… unless it was one of those solid gold ones.
” you don’t want some punk kid or old billionaire taking your Game Boy”
Or… do you?
A true - ish story:
(Jack’s name has been replaced by ****** to protect his identity.)
****** walked into work one morning and was greeted by several men in suits. They invited him into the board room and he was asked to sit down. “Hello ******, we are here to give you a message. The Owner and your wife have been having an affair and he feels real badly about it. (ZONO!!) Because he is really sorry, he has asked us to have you sign this paperwork turning the entire company over to you in exchange for your wife. (ZOYES!!)”
****** signed the papers, sold the company for a few mil, married a hottie and now lives somewhere nice, warm, and to the south.
True - ish story…. ask sloth.
Lets take the simile and embrace and extend it.
A wife is like a Game Boy because:
Sometimes you wonder what life is like on the other side of the alter… you know, after marriage and all. Well… when you’re not married you might thing this at least. The rest of you who are on the other side wonder why the hell you took that leap - but not my point.
So we now have something to explain marriage. Thank the dinosaurs for this one. They knew all about marriage, let me tell you.
Fox Detroit had a wonderful “exposé” today on the dangers of hookah smoking. You might say “Oh, it is just Fox” but seriously, all the TV news stations really suck this bad anymore. If you want to watch the segment click here. If you have better things to do here is the good part. This comes near the end of the clip:
Smoking the hookah for 45 minutes can deliver 36x more tar, 15x more CO, and 70% more nicotine than (wait for it) a *single* cigarette.
Now, I am not a smoker. I only occasionally indulge in a tobacco product of any type. However, my experiences with cigarettes lead me to believe that 45 minutes worth of continuous smoking is slightly more than a single cigarette. It is probably more like 9 or something.
Next we are going to find out that eating an entire wedding cake has a lot more calories and fat than eating a chocolate chip cookie. HFS.
Edit: Oh, and when I was a kid we called those water bongs. That really wasn’t all that long ago so I don’t think it is time for them to be re-invented like bell bottoms (flared legs) and Yugos (Fords).
So you know you get random license plates from the BMV?
Well, sometimes you get lucky with what they send you.
In reality, I believe that someone knew what they were doing when they did this. The orange is so perfectly placed.
A zookeeper got killed by Osama’s brother. According to the article he was named after GW. If this isn’t a conspiracy I don’t know what is.
