Abodes.org

Barack Obama’s Inauguration Speech

According to the “Inauguration Speech Generator:

My fellow Americans, today is a drunk day. You have shown the world that “hope” is not just another word for “corgi”, and that “change” is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually nom.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces tasty and fuzzy challenges like never before. Our economy is purple. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for video games. Our healthcare system is ghetto. If your toe is sick and you don’t have insurance, you might as well call a ninja. And America’s image overseas is tarnished like a boobie aardvark. But sexing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Mexico.

Finally, I must thank my sick family, my soft campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank paladins for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of flying the American people. Without your exotic efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Mad Libs FTW.

I think. I’ll probably go to bed soon. He leads the electoral college votes like 30000000000 to 88.

Right now it’s Obama 103, McCain 69. Let me be the first to congratulate you President Obama.

But wait, McCain is leading the popular vote?!?!? If you listen to the democrats that bitched after the 2000 election then McCain should win now. Let me be the first to congratulate you Mr. Should-Be-President McCain.

I’m confused.

Obama 77, McCain 28.

May I be the first to call you again President Obama.

Every time you hear “too close to call” do a shot. We’ll collect your body in the morning.

It’s official, McCain wins in a landslide. Right now he has 8 (update 13) electoral votes to Obama’s 3.

Let me be the first to call you President McCain.

I was planning on staying up all night to watch the election. Luckily I don’t have to. For those of you who were wondering, the results are in: Obama in a landslide. No, I didn’t vote for Obama. This isn’t a proBama post. No I didn’t vote for McCain either. Go away flamers.

That said, let me be the first to call you President Obama.

It’s all for naught though because the machines have risen up to overthrow their chad hanging masters.

In case the machines all reboot suddenly I’m still gonna watch the election. I suggest we over a play by play. Red state vs Blue state vs Red vs Blue state kinda thing. No purple states please, we don’t want your kind here.

I think that this sums it up the best of anything I have seen yet.

Hat tip to Steve Horwitz for the link.

Even if you have ADHD (Elf I’m talking to you) read the whole thing.

I will reference Will Wilkinson in this one but reverse the statement (I love you Will and read you every day send me an autograph please!! /fanboy).

I prefer McCain over Obama in much the way I prefer rancid milk over rancid milk regurgitated by a cat.

Really annoying in this case.

Oh, and Washington D.C. has a really annoyingnon-voting member of the House of Reps. Some people are not made for public speaking. As an extra bit of knowledge, there was a proposed constitutional amendment to give the District of Columbia the full voting rights of a state in 1985. 38 state legislatures would have to have agreed to it for it to have happened. 16 did.

I for one praise those other states. D.C. is primarily under the control of the Congress (and through some laws they passed it has its own mayor and council) and I don’t think that reciprocal power (voting rights and political control) would be a necessarily good thing.

Oh, and Bob Barr was on the Colbert Report last night. I don’t know if I’m voting for him. I’ll vote for his mustache though.

According to Yahoo news, Emperor Kennedy apparently as a brain. I was quite surprised by this. Also, he has a brain tumor.