Abodes.org » News

35, Fat & Depressed

wastinawayagain — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 03:25:11 +0000

According to a recent CDC study, the average gamer is all three of those things. Apparently, no one who posts on abodes is an average gamer. None of us is 35 years old, nor do I believe any of us is depressed. The study was done in in Seattle, a city I that’s kinda known for having high rates of depression. As for the weight issue, what American (celebrities don’t count) couldn’t stand to lose a few pounds? Really, this just seems like a poorly constructed study. But it’s more fun to just argue with the results & say the CDC is wrong.

Also, who comes up with the ideas for these studies anyway? And if I can’t be a Cocktail Historian, how do I get a job conducting them?

Soylent Green is People!

sage — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:20:26 +0000

As some of you might already know, Mr. Heston has kicked the bucket. Let’s review important facts of his life:

Soylent Green is people
Some NRA stuff…
Everything else old-skool sci-fi
And lastly, Wikipedia doing the rest of the work for me – or IMDB

So in review this means: he was a cannibal, liked to shoot things, scared Micheal Moore out of his home, and say things like, “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”

Awesome headline of the day

sloth — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:51:14 +0000

Today’s awesome headline:

Israelis Sue Government For Laser Cannons

Honestly, there are very few projects that we actually want the government to do that it is capable of doing. And it doesn’t.

Stupid Weather

wastinawayagain — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 02:36:27 +0000

Currently, it is 5 degrees fahrenheit outside. With windchill, it’s -16., i.e. And this B.S. is our weather forecast for the next 10 days. Yep. -2 tonight and below freezing pretty much every day. I’m pretty sure that my nipples are going to freeze off before winter ends.

Buying that private island in Mexico is looking better and better by the day. And at only $136K, it’s a steal!

Priorities

wastinawayagain — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:25:12 +0000

You’re on your weekly beer run with the wife and baby cause everyone knows marriage and parenthood lead to alcoholism. Who or what do you use a seat belt on?

This guy chose to strap in his Busch and leave the baby to bounce around his back seat. Needless to say, he was arrested and taken off to jail.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em!

Minerva — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:29:06 +0000

How do you get ‘em? Go to a vending machine!!!

As if we needed another reason

Clamcheese — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 00:46:56 +0000

We have already discussed how sex can be financially rewarding.

Now, the next time your significant other or current fling denies you the nookie you so rightfully deserve, just point him/her/them to this website.

You can thank me later.

Tip #3 FTW!

wastinawayagain — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 17:22:11 +0000

With the end times being so near and all, I figure we could all use a little extra sexytime. So I thought I’d post some advice on getting laid from the Fox News Sexpert. Who knew Fox News even had a Sexpert? I though obvious and unimaginative sex tips were strictly limited to the pages of Cosmo.

Can you guess what happens to humans 4 million years from now?

Minerva — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:21:37 +0000

We become elves! And coneheads!

Everyone Loves A Parade, Even Ninjas

wastinawayagain — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 21:22:43 +0000

Monkey Wars!!!

Clamcheese — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 02:07:24 +0000

So, it seems that I’m not the only one who’s been attacked my monkeys.

The deputy mayor of Delhi, India, was recently killed by a band of monkeys. His tragic death is apparently the latest and worst attack by the city’s “plague of monkeys,” which has harried citizens for decades. The solution? According to a BBC article, “One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.”

Now there’s a novel idea: train monkeys in the way of the ninja to assassinate other monkeys. Brilliant!! /end sarcasm

I don’t see this ending well, but will laugh hysterically when it backfires.

Vote Huckabee in 2008

wastinawayagain — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:42:32 +0000

Or brave the wrath of none other than Chuck Norris.

You have been warned.

edit: When I was adding tags to this category, I noticed that the “Crazy-Awesome” category does not include a “Chuck Norris” subcategory. I believe this should be changed.

For Clamcheese, Because He Cares

wastinawayagain — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 13:56:10 +0000

The Hoff has relapsed and is now undergoing detox in some hospital somewhere. Or maybe he just realized what the rest of us already know – sobriety is overrated.

Presidential Candidate Update

wastinawayagain — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 16:58:31 +0000

From an article in today’s NY Daily News:

“Hillary Clinton officially declared she’s not a lesbian – not that there’s anything wrong with that”

Glad to see that when she’s not trying to force us into universal healthcare, she focuses on the truly important issues.

Ogres have layers

sloth — Mon, 14 May 2007 16:27:12 +0000

The Onion which is sometimes funny has a good “make up quotes and attribute them to the same faces as last time” piece you can see here. I’m especially fond of this bit:

The crocodiles serve an important function in the ecosystem by keeping nuclear-protester numbers manageable.

Oh, and they have a Women’s Issue for those of you who wore pink diapers.