As some of you might already know, Mr. Heston has kicked the bucket. Let’s review important facts of his life:
So in review this means: he was a cannibal, liked to shoot things, scared Micheal Moore out of his home, and say things like, “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”
Today’s awesome headline:
Israelis Sue Government For Laser Cannons
Honestly, there are very few projects that we actually want the government to do that it is capable of doing. And it doesn’t.
Currently, it is 5 degrees fahrenheit outside. With windchill, it’s -16., i.e. And this B.S. is our weather forecast for the next 10 days. Yep. -2 tonight and below freezing pretty much every day. I’m pretty sure that my nipples are going to freeze off before winter ends.
Buying that private island in Mexico is looking better and better by the day. And at only $136K, it’s a steal!
You’re on your weekly beer run with the wife and baby cause everyone knows marriage and parenthood lead to alcoholism. Who or what do you use a seat belt on?
This guy chose to strap in his Busch and leave the baby to bounce around his back seat. Needless to say, he was arrested and taken off to jail.
We have already discussed how sex can be financially rewarding.
Now, the next time your significant other or current fling denies you the nookie you so rightfully deserve, just point him/her/them to this website.
With the end times being so near and all, I figure we could all use a little extra sexytime. So I thought I’d post some advice on getting laid from the Fox News Sexpert. Who knew Fox News even had a Sexpert? I though obvious and unimaginative sex tips were strictly limited to the pages of Cosmo.
So, it seems that I’m not the only one who’s been attacked my monkeys.
