Second best idea they ever had.

Economists can study pirates though. Peter T. Leson from George Mason University has published two papers and is working on a third legitimately studying pirates from an Austrian Economists perspective. (Actually read this link on Austrian Economists if you want a more concise explanation.)

An-arrgh-chy: The Law and Economics of Pirate Organization (which I haven’t had a chance to read yet)

Pirational Choice: The Economics of Infamous Pirate Practices. (which I am in the process of reading and which is very good)

and the work in progress:
The Invisible Hook: The Hidden Economics of Pirates, History’s Most Notorious Criminals – Abstract (this abstract makes this paper look to be the best of the three…and it’s short for your poor attention spans)

“Rape Me”

It’s awfully tempting to buy some of his CD’s here isn’t it (wink wink nudge nudge)

(Editor’s note: We added more after the jump)

“Welcome to the Jungle”

“What’s My Age Again”

“Last Resort”

“Gin & Juice”

“Sunday Bloody Sunday”

“Closer”

“Beat It” (with what sounds like a children’s choir accompaniment)

“Sand Man”

“Star Wars Cantina meets Copacabana”

“Shake Ya Ass”

“Freak on a Leash”

“People Equal Shit”

“She Hates Me”

“Hey Ya” (I’m not sure which I like better, the original or the cover)

“Insane in the Brain”

“Material Girl”

“Jingle Bells”

“Down With the Sickness”

“Come Out and Play”

“My Own Worst Enemy”

“Creep”

“Milkshake”

“Rock the Casbah”

“Hash Pipe”

“Fight For Your Right To Party”

“Longview”

“I’ll Be There For You”

“Naughty Girl” (listen for the backup singers. hilarious)

“Suck My Kiss”

“Ice, Ice, Baby”

“Hot For Teacher”

Some live stuff from the Jimmy Kimmel Show

“Holiday in Cambodia”

And last but not least…

“The Vagina Song”

(this ridiculously long list brought to you by Vort and Sloth, the letter R, and the number 13213907)

Apparently some people are worried about the zombies coming to attack. This Jock Strap guy or maybe strippers could end up as zombies.

The best ones:

That last one made me think of the TARPS service in Toledo, OH. TARPS just sounds like a pejorative term for handicapped people.

I made a lot of cookies in my lifetime and we don’t have a drop of partially hydrogenated vegetable oil in our kitchen. We don’t have any lecithin or niacin either. The Girl Scouts put what they call “reduced iron” in them. How would a girl reduce iron?

I looked up cookies in my Fannie Farmer cookbook and Fannie Farmer doesn’t use riboflavin.

Next time a Girl Scout tries to sell me cookies, I’m going to ask her about partially hydrogenated vegetable oil and about riboflavin.

So the boss brought in a mouse trap and set it up. We found some of the food eaten each day for a couple of days but the trap never sprung. Today I tried to spring it myself with a pen and it required a TON of force. The mouse would have to do a all over the mouse trap with a tribal drum accompaniment to set it off. I probably had to apply 5 lbs of pressure to the trap to make it spring. That’s like the weight of a small rat.

I bent the catch back a little and gave it a proper hair trigger now. We’ll see if we have some proper results on Monday. Nothing like a rotting mouse corpse over the weekend to spice up work.

Get your helmet and zombie killing kit, the end times approach.

1. The dog ate my condom.

2. Cold doggy nose on my balls. AKA instant shrivel.

3. The 5-0 at the door. Courtesy of Sage.

4. Partner taking phone calls or texting the parent folk.  Also courtesy of Sage.

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, sex-neutral, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

To everyone else:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Please Note: I didn’t make this up but I also have no idea who to attribute it to.

If you don’t get the reference follow the hands and click here. Yes, this dance will generally result in a multiplayer game.

Kinda like me.

Hooker replies, “It starts at $500 for a hand-job.”

Guy says, “$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!”

The hooker says, “Do you see that Denny’s on the corner?”

“Yes.”

“Do you see the Denny’s about a block further down?”

“Yes.”

“And beyond that, do you see that third Denny’s?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” says the hooker, smiling invitingly, “I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that’s worth $500.”

Guy says, “What the hell? You only live once. I’ll give it a try.” They retire to a nearby motel.

A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, “I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?”

The hooker replies, “$1,500.”

I wouldn’t pay that for a blow-job!”

The hooker replies, “Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that’s worth every cent of $1,500.”

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, “Sign me up.”

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money’s worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker,

“How much for some pussy?”

The hooker says, “Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?”

“Damn!” the guy says, in awe, “You own the whole city?”

“No,” the hooker replies, “but I would if I had a pussy.”