Abodes.org

Barack Obama’s Inauguration Speech

According to the “Inauguration Speech Generator:

My fellow Americans, today is a drunk day. You have shown the world that “hope” is not just another word for “corgi”, and that “change” is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually nom.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces tasty and fuzzy challenges like never before. Our economy is purple. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for video games. Our healthcare system is ghetto. If your toe is sick and you don’t have insurance, you might as well call a ninja. And America’s image overseas is tarnished like a boobie aardvark. But sexing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Mexico.

Finally, I must thank my sick family, my soft campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank paladins for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of flying the American people. Without your exotic efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Mad Libs FTW.

I’ve been answering the phone with “This is ” for years. It’s nice for a few reasons:

1. People calling the wrong number immediately know this. There is no uncomfortable conversations with people who have no idea who they are talking to.
2. I don’t ever accidentally answer my cell phone like it’s my work phone (elf I’m looking at you).
3. It generally causes people to skip the first 30 seconds of the conversation that establishes that both parties are doing well and that nothing is up.

How do you get ‘em? Go to a vending machine!!!

Clamcheese may want to think twice about his next visit to his “watering hole”, or at least wear a face mask…

Re: Re: Sage’s love affair

For the record I was NOT making fun of Voltron. Voltron is one of the few cases where multiple vehicles are allowed to join into one mass without breaking transportation rule 25-A. I will refer you to the transportation rules page for more information.

Re: Sage’s love affair

So I’ve been thinking about this one for a little while. I mean come on, how does one respond when someone brings up your deepest, darkest secret. It hurts. Right here. No over here. A little to the left. Yeah, right there.

Then, not only that, he makes fun of the best Voltron evar. Let me tell you, the hurt just grew. *sniff*

It all comes down to, I do want Brucie. I want him bad. When he says, “Yippee Ki Yay.” Well, you can guess what happens – and yes it does require a clean up. So now my deep, dark secret is out there. Enjoy. I want Bruce to have my man-child.

Here’s an important PSA:

Babies are like sausage: it’s best to just enjoy them and not wonder how they are made.

In the words of Minvera, “Mmm… baby sausage.”

It turns out that while Apple may be killing the bees with their nuclear powered computing devices, it isn’t as bad as Green Peace claims. Stupid damn hippies.