Abodes.org

I could end my post there but maybe I shouldn’t. You should read this BEER blog entry about common beer myths since it is amusing. To be honest, I have never heard most of those myths but they are still funny. The one I have heard is about drinking dark beer being like eating a loaf of bread.

This is stupid.

A pint of Guinness Drought (the more caloric one) has 210 calories. That’s .370 calories per gram.

A bottle of Michelob Ultra has 73 calories. That’s .265 calories per gram.

A slice of Wonder Bread contains 79 calories. That’s 2.565 calories per gram.

So beer might very well be runny bread but it’s diet runny bread. Bitches.

Economists are.

Economists can study pirates though. Peter T. Leson from George Mason University has published two papers and is working on a third legitimately studying pirates from an Austrian Economists perspective. (Actually read this link on Austrian Economists if you want a more concise explanation.)

An-arrgh-chy: The Law and Economics of Pirate Organization (which I haven’t had a chance to read yet)

Pirational Choice: The Economics of Infamous Pirate Practices. (which I am in the process of reading and which is very good)

and the work in progress:
The Invisible Hook: The Hidden Economics of Pirates, History’s Most Notorious Criminals - Abstract (this abstract makes this paper look to be the best of the three…and it’s short for your poor attention spans)

So I’m recently single again. I knew it would happen as it was just a matter of time. It’s not so much that I miss her, it’s more of the fact that being single just plain sucks, even if the opposite is spending time with someone with which there is no real future. So seeing as how I’m probably the only consistent single (as in un-married) reader of this ‘ere blog, I thought I’d educate ya on why being single sucks donkey dick on horseback.

1. Cooking for one person is so pointless you might as well get a pizza. Or Wendy’s. It’s actually cheaper.
2. Hanging out with a couple means you are the third wheel.
3. No one goes to a restaurant to eat by themselves.

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Marriage as Complementary Consumption Preferences

From the article:

Translated, this means that in a modern society where people are “more different” from one another than they were, I would argue, pre-capitalism, it is harder to find a marital partner whose personality and, as Wolfers and Stephenson argue, consumption preferences, are sufficiently complementary to yours to render the person “marriageable.”

Folks can afford to be this picky because they don’t need marriage to survive economically, just to make them happy. That, I would argue, is a Good Thing.

I thought it was just about the convenient sex.

Something just should not ever be combined. Oil and Water. Ketchup and Eggs. Politics and Science. Religion and Science. Pigeons and Rice. You get the picture.

So, in effort to both illustrate my point and to annoy sloth by providing the elf with all things Hello Kitty, here is a Vader-Hello Kitty tattoo.

In an effort to confront the laziness that sets in during the winter months, here are some motivational posters to help us all out.

We have already discussed how sex can be financially rewarding.

Now, the next time your significant other or current fling denies you the nookie you so rightfully deserve, just point him/her/them to this website.

You can thank me later.

With the end times being so near and all, I figure we could all use a little extra sexytime. So I thought I’d post some advice on getting laid from the Fox News Sexpert. Who knew Fox News even had a Sexpert? I though obvious and unimaginative sex tips were strictly limited to the pages of Cosmo.

So I was laying in bed with the woman last nite, and I hear her dog start chewing on something.  I say to her, “Please tell me she’s not chewing on what I think she’s chewing on.”  And of course, I was correct as always, the bitch(finally I get to use this term and not get slapped) was chewing on un-used condoms, which curiously smell like orange peel.  After a bout of uncontrollable laughter, the mood was totally gone.  So I say to her, “I’m totally gonna put this on the blog.”  And since I don’t like to disappoint, I thought I’d start a list of mood killers.  Please feel free to add your mood killers.

1. The dog ate my condom.

2. Cold doggy nose on my balls. AKA instant shrivel.

3. The 5-0 at the door. Courtesy of Sage.

4. Partner taking phone calls or texting the parent folk.  Also courtesy of Sage.

For those of you that haven’t experienced it (yet), here is a how to guide on gettin jiggy in da car. Or in Sage’s case, in da matchbox. NSFW ads, other stuff.