Bad idea: A cute little robot* that freaks out and kills people with high-explosive 0.5kg 35mm cannon shells. It even makes cute noises sometimes. Like it’s little “boom boom boom” noise that sounds like “Oh Shit!” when it is blowing you apart.

*Yes, I realize that a Oerlikon 35 mm twin cannon is not actually cute and little. It is big and ugly and gets pulled around by a truck. “Cute and little” just sounds better.

Fur
Cats – Get fur all over the carpet, laminate floors and bathroom tile.
Roomba – Removes cat fur from the carpet, laminate floors and bathroom tile.
Roomba – 1pt.

Intelligence
Cats – Roam around on their own randomly, often stopping to sleep for extended periods for no reason.
Roomba – Roams around on its own intelligently but can also be controlled remotely.
Roomba – 1pt.

Vocal Abilities
Cats – MEOW! (I WANT FOOD)
Roomba – Doo doo do doooo! (Victory noise when intelligently going home on its own after a hard day’s work)
Roomba – 1pt.

Upkeep
Cats – Deposit excrement in large boxes of gritty crap for me to clean. Require expensive trips to the vet.
Roomba – Cleans up dirt and cat hair from around the house and deposits it into a easy to remove and empty bin for my convenience.
Roomba – 1pt.

Obedience
Cats – Stares at me or goes back to sleep when asked to do something.
Roomba – Cleans in normal, max, or spot mode at the push of a button.
Roomba – 1pt.

Final Score:
Cats: 0
Roomba: 5

The verdict is in! Goodbye kitty, hello Roomba! My neeeew favorite pet! r0xors!