Archive for Robots

Good idea, bad idea

Good idea: A cute little robot vacuum that runs (well really drives) around your home picking up pet hair and lint and stuff. It even makes cute noises sometimes. Like it’s little “doo doo doo” noise that sounds like “Victory!” when it finishes cleaning.

Bad idea: A cute little robot* that freaks out and kills people with high-explosive 0.5kg 35mm cannon shells. It even makes cute noises sometimes. Like it’s little “boom boom boom” noise that sounds like “Oh Shit!” when it is blowing you apart.

*Yes, I realize that a Oerlikon 35 mm twin cannon is not actually cute and little. It is big and ugly and gets pulled around by a truck. “Cute and little” just sounds better.

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Our new pet.

Yes, that’s right… my wife and I just got a new pet!
Now, those of you that know us personally are aware that we currently have two stupid cats: Fat and Fatter, err.. Dumb and Dumber… err that’s not it… Mugsy and Hunter. Now having three pets, I have decided that it is time for me to pick a favorite. I have developed the following list of comparisons to help me do so:

Fur
Cats – Get fur all over the carpet, laminate floors and bathroom tile.
Roomba – Removes cat fur from the carpet, laminate floors and bathroom tile.
Roomba – 1pt.

Intelligence
Cats – Roam around on their own randomly, often stopping to sleep for extended periods for no reason.
Roomba – Roams around on its own intelligently but can also be controlled remotely.
Roomba – 1pt.

Vocal Abilities
Cats – MEOW! (I WANT FOOD)
Roomba – Doo doo do doooo! (Victory noise when intelligently going home on its own after a hard day’s work)
Roomba – 1pt.

Upkeep
Cats – Deposit excrement in large boxes of gritty crap for me to clean. Require expensive trips to the vet.
Roomba – Cleans up dirt and cat hair from around the house and deposits it into a easy to remove and empty bin for my convenience.
Roomba – 1pt.

Obedience
Cats – Stares at me or goes back to sleep when asked to do something.
Roomba – Cleans in normal, max, or spot mode at the push of a button.
Roomba – 1pt.

Final Score:
Cats: 0
Roomba: 5

The verdict is in! Goodbye kitty, hello Roomba! My neeeew favorite pet! r0xors!

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