So that parts good. But then I had to buy a laptop case. You see, my laptop bag that I held my 12″ PowerBook in was not nearly big enough for the beast that is this lappy (it has a full numeric keypad!). While shopping for lappy bags, I thought to myself, “Self, this lappy is so big that if you carry it in a soft bag you will bash it into everything. Maybe you should look into a hard sided lappy case.”

Thus I purchased a Solo Attachè on Newegg. (God typing the grave mark over a vowel is way more of a pain in Windows). It’s sweet. It’s big. It’s heavy. It’s sweet.

Closed case on my stove.
Case with lappy and accessories
Case with objects to give relative size

Now, before you say “Wait sloth, that looks really bulky for a lappy. Why did you buy that?” let me point out that there is nothing light or easily portable about a 17″ laptop. I bought it for three reasons: 1) my desktop sucks by modern standards, 2) I wanted a new machine to game on, and 3) I wanted a new machine to code on. A big portable desktop that happens to have a battery included was the perfect solution. This case is basically an armored shell to make sure it survives from point A to point B. If point B happens to be on the other side of point IRAQ it had better well make it unscathed.

Also, if you ever need a large amount of money carried somewhere I have the perfect case for it. I only charge 5%.

The best ones:

That last one made me think of the TARPS service in Toledo, OH. TARPS just sounds like a pejorative term for handicapped people.

Condoms

Yeah, they suck. But back in WWII they were funny. The one they showed was called the “Anti-Baby Condom”. As a rule I’m pro-Anti-Baby anything. I support this condom.

So anyway. I had to find something to listen to. Something not Enya. I switched to the Ghetto Booty Bump’n'Grind channel and noticed the song playing was called “My Girl Gotta Girlfriend”. Of course I listened to it. I promptly decided I needed to share it with you all.

Sadly, embedding for this fantabulous softcore pr0n-esque video is disabled. So you’ll have to click here instead. And because the lyrics are not really in English, but are so amazing, you can find them here.

Enjoy having that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day!

So I’ve been thinking about this one for a little while. I mean come on, how does one respond when someone brings up your deepest, darkest secret. It hurts. Right here. No over here. A little to the left. Yeah, right there.

Then, not only that, he makes fun of the best Voltron evar. Let me tell you, the hurt just grew. *sniff*

It all comes down to, I do want Brucie. I want him bad. When he says, “Yippee Ki Yay.” Well, you can guess what happens – and yes it does require a clean up. So now my deep, dark secret is out there. Enjoy. I want Bruce to have my man-child.

All images should be safe for work.

Booyah indeed.

On a more personal note, if he had rapped during class last year, maybe I’d know how to properly certify a class action and not vaguely remember such requirements as numerousity and typicality…

For those of you who don’t know, we Catholic-Lites and the Catholics are currently in the season of Lent. In honor of this season of penance in which “The Ten Commandments” will be on TV approximately 9349875897 times, I give you the following:

Hope you all enjoyed your daily dose of religion!

A wife is like a Game Boy because:

• Game Boys come in many shapes, sizes and color
• you don’t want some punk kid or old billionaire taking your Game Boy
• Mormons are allowed to have multiple Game Boys if they aren’t part of the mainline LDS church
• you can swap Game Boys with your friends if they have a Game Boy of equal or greater value
• you can push a Game Boy’s buttons
• a Game Boy derives great benefits from batteries
• when taking long bus, train, or plane trips or staying in a hotel it is wise to take a Game Boy
• your Game Boy will get mad if you tell it you are trading it in for a younger, smaller Game Boy
• Game Boys may not be suitable for children since it can be used for pornographic reasons