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It’s called a new lappy. I bought a refurbished (don’t laugh, the last place I worked we bought a lot of new and refurb Dells and the refurbs had a much lower failure rate) Dell Inspiron 1720. 17″ screen, pretty good graphics card, a moderate amount of RAM that I already upgraded (cheap cheap on Newegg).

So that parts good. But then I had to buy a laptop case. You see, my laptop bag that I held my 12″ PowerBook in was not nearly big enough for the beast that is this lappy (it has a full numeric keypad!). While shopping for lappy bags, I thought to myself, “Self, this lappy is so big that if you carry it in a soft bag you will bash it into everything. Maybe you should look into a hard sided lappy case.”

Thus I purchased a Solo Attachè on Newegg. (God typing the grave mark over a vowel is way more of a pain in Windows). It’s sweet. It’s big. It’s heavy. It’s sweet.

Closed case on my stove.
Case with lappy and accessories
Case with objects to give relative size

Now, before you say “Wait sloth, that looks really bulky for a lappy. Why did you buy that?” let me point out that there is nothing light or easily portable about a 17″ laptop. I bought it for three reasons: 1) my desktop sucks by modern standards, 2) I wanted a new machine to game on, and 3) I wanted a new machine to code on. A big portable desktop that happens to have a battery included was the perfect solution. This case is basically an armored shell to make sure it survives from point A to point B. If point B happens to be on the other side of point IRAQ it had better well make it unscathed.

Also, if you ever need a large amount of money carried somewhere I have the perfect case for it. I only charge 5%.

Some dude over on buffettnews.com is now making webcomics. He proves, once again, that we Parrotheads know what truly matters in life!

Some funny vanity plates brought to you by Mental Floss

The best ones:

That last one made me think of the TARPS service in Toledo, OH. TARPS just sounds like a pejorative term for handicapped people.

We become elves! And coneheads!

Here’s a nice little list of things to do:

For those of you that haven’t experienced it (yet), here is a how to guide on gettin jiggy in da car. Or in Sage’s case, in da matchbox. NSFW ads, other stuff.

The History Channel is running a “Hardcore Kinky Tech” show or something along those lines. It is entertaining. The reason I bring it up though is for one particular item.

Condoms

Yeah, they suck. But back in WWII they were funny. The one they showed was called the “Anti-Baby Condom”. As a rule I’m pro-Anti-Baby anything. I support this condom.

Frederick’s of Hollywood is a raunchy version of Victoria’s Secret. Vickie’s is great for all your everyday bra and panty needs. But when you want a naughty ringmaster costume or some scandalous lingerie, Frederick’s is the place to go.

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During my morning commute, Radio Margaritaville was playing Enya’s Orinoco Flow. I don’t approve of this song choice. Just because a song says “sail away” doesn’t mean it should be on Radio Margaritaville. Enya is NOT chillin’ on the beach drinkin’ margaritas music. But I digre..OH!LOOK!SHINY! Someone forgot her Adderall today.. *hears sloth’s voice in her head saying, “focus grasshopper”*

So anyway. I had to find something to listen to. Something not Enya. I switched to the Ghetto Booty Bump’n'Grind channel and noticed the song playing was called “My Girl Gotta Girlfriend”. Of course I listened to it. I promptly decided I needed to share it with you all.

Sadly, embedding for this fantabulous softcore pr0n-esque video is disabled. So you’ll have to click here instead. And because the lyrics are not really in English, but are so amazing, you can find them here.

So I will share with you the ones I have standing under my Umbrella-ella-ella-ella:

Enjoy having that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day!