Review: Canada
So the elf and I went to Canada last weekend. This review is about the Cannota we saw during the weekend. There might be other more different Canadas but I can’t say for sure.
Kanida is hot, muggy, smelly, and expensive. It was really humid the entire weekend and the only thing that made it acceptable was a strong breeze off of Lake Huron. Lake Huron gets a 9/10 btw since it was smooth the whole time and cool and not smelly and practically free.
We saw a really run down indian reservation. That got a 2/10. The restaurant in the shopping center near there though had “traditional native fried bread” which gets 8/10.
So Canatuna must have like 99% sales tax. A hamburger and fries was $13. Fish and chips was like $15. For perch. Not even for pufferfish or anything. Around where I live it’s usually like $7. Drinks at a bar were $5-8 a piece which is a bit steep but when you factor in that they didn’t appear to even have any alcohol (and tasted just like mixer) a shot of liquor must be like $20 there.
We stopped at a liquor store and a beer store. The Beer Store actually. You see, Soberada is a socialist nation. The best way to control a populace in a tyrannical nation is to control the alcohol supply. Hence The Beer Store. It’s the only place (seemingly) you can buy beer. A 6 pack of beer is roughly twice the cost of what people in the States pay. This probably explains the people with hand carts and 20 18-packs of bud light coming back over to Canadia on the ferry. Oh, and about the liquor stores. In Corndidia the only liquor stores are LCBO stores. They are pretty nice as far as stores go, more like a Macy’s than a Walmart. A 750mL bottle of Jose Cuervo runs about $35 Eh’dian. Right now greenbacks and loonies are about even so we can say that’s roughly $35 USD. Three blocks away from my house I can buy the same bottle of Cuervo (or at least a close cousin) for around $16.
If it wasn’t for a minimum wage of $8 and up and healthcare/retirement/etc that the people with jobs have to pay for in their probably 200% income tax I don’t know how anyone can get drunk in Nadcania. There must be a bum booze subsidy program or something for the stinky part of the population.
Overall, Candidia gets a 6/10. It’s fun to visit but expensive, hot and smelly. You don’t think Candacia is hot? I can say honestly that 100% of the times I have been to Candardia in the last year it has been hot and muggy. Proof enough.