Stupidest Advice Ever
I know abodes is a boy blog. But most of you boys have a girl you keep around. Or have had a girl that you kept around. Or at least grew up with a mom, who was originally a girl that your dad kept around. So I feel it’s important to share this terrible women’s health advice with you. Consider it my way of helping you keep the peace with the womens in your life.
“Change your diet slightly if you can, a week prior to menstruation to avoid menstrual cramping; avoid foods that could cause bloating such as salty foods and alcohol, avoid foods such as dairy that could contribute to menstrual cramps.”
What a brilliant idea! Depriving a tired, cranky, crampy woman of the three things she most wants just before Aunt Flo comes to town is exactly what your should do to help alleviate her misery! No satisfyingly salty potato chips, no muscle-relaxing glasses of wine, and no date night with Ben & Jerry? You may as well go on a moonlit stroll with a werewolf. Your death would be much quicker and probably less messy than that brought on by a PMSy woman who can’t have what she most craves.
sloth said,
September 17, 2007
I noticed this is filed under WTF and education. Isn’t this redundant.
Clamcheese said,
September 18, 2007
I find myself saying WTF quite frequently in the course of my new-found education. Mostly due to the extreme lack of attractive women in my classes.
sloth said,
September 18, 2007
Are you in a monastery?
Clamcheese said,
September 18, 2007
Yes, a monastery with wi-fi.. The total lack of attractive females is quite disheartening. How is one supposed to contemplate the meaning of life (i.e. boobs are the cause and the cure for most of life’s problems) without so much as a B-cup to oogle?
sage said,
September 19, 2007
You are on the intertubes, there are plenty of B-cup+ boobs to oogle out there. Besides, playing porn loudly on the laptop during class always scores you point with your female class mates and the professor.
Clamcheese said,
September 19, 2007
That’s why you turn off the volume….