El Conquistador
From an IM transcript earlier today:
sloth: he needs a second <job description withheld to protect the innocent> computer and a laptop
wastin: YAYS!
sloth: so we are getting him El Conquistador the laptop
sloth: wow, that’s really sad
sloth: I spelled Conquistador right first time, but I can’t spell “the” reliably or most of the English language
wastin: hahaha
Seriously though. If you are buying someone a laptop with 4GB of RAM and what else do you call it besides El Conquistador?